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Friday, December 21st, 2007
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2:18 pm - INTERNET PROVES LONO IS GREATEST!
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TREMBLE BEFORE LONO'S IMPRESSIVE IMPRESSIVENESS!
LONO NOW DONS HIS HAT OF SPIKY AWESOME!
FETCH THE FINE LADIES! LONO COMMANDS!
I Am A: Neutral Good Human Barbarian (10th Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-19
Dexterity-19
Constitution-20
Intelligence-20
Wisdom-20
Charisma-19
Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.
Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.
Class:
Barbarians are brave, even reckless, and their warrior skills make them well suited to adventure. Instead of training and discipline, barbarians have a powerful rage that makes them stronger, tougher, and better able to withstand attacks. They only have the energy for a few such displays per day, but it is usually sufficient. Constant exposure to danger has also given barbarians a sort of 'sixth sense,' the preternatural ability to sense danger and dodge attacks, and their running stamina is legendary.
Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, March 15th, 2007
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12:16 pm - LONO BEAT DRUM!
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MORTALS, PREPARE!
PREPARE TO BOOZE!
PREPARE TO GROOVE!
PREPARE TO WAKE-UP THE NEXT MORNING WITH A NEW DIETY YOU DON'T REMEMBER MEETING THE NIGHT BEFORE!
PREPARE TO PARTY! FOR THE LUAU APPROACHES!
AND LO, A DATE WAS RESERVED AND IT IS GOOD!
JUNE 23RD! JUNE 23RD! JUNE 23RD!
LONO DOES NOT CARE FOR YOUR PRIOR COMMITMENTS!
LONO DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR COUSIN'S WEDDING!
LONO DOES NOT CARE IF YOU LIVE IN ASIA!
ALL MUST ATTEND!
current mood:  jubilant
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(26 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
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12:50 pm - LONO DECLARES A WINNER!
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| Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
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3:59 pm - LONO DEMANDS A MARKETING STRATEGY!
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LONO IS HIP! LONO IS WITH IT! LONO IS A DEITY FOR THE PEPSI GENERATION!
YOU SAY TO LONO, "LONO! YOU HAVE MASTERED THE SEASONS! LONO! ALL THE HOT LADIES WANT DATES WITH YOU! LONO! ADORABLE KITTENS WORSHIP YOU! WHAT ELSE COULD LONO NEED!?!"
LONO SHALL ANSWER YOU! LONO REQUIRES A SLOGAN!
AND LO, A CHALLENGE IS PUT FORTH! ALL TRUE WORSHIPERS OF LONO SHALL SPREAD HIS GREATNESS BY SUGGESTING AWESOME SLOGANS TO HELP LONO ESTABLISH HIS BRAND! THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST SHALL BE GREATLY HONORED BY LONO AND RAINBOWS AND SWEET FRUITS SHALL BE THEIRS!
GO FORTH MY FOLLOWERS AND SPREAD THE WORD OF LONO TO THE EXTREME 18-34 DEMOGRAPHIC!
SO COMMANDS LONO!
current mood: indescribable
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 5th, 2007
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2:35 pm
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LONO IS VICTORIOUS OVER PUNY WINTER! 63 DEGREES IN BOSTON TODAY! YOU ARE WELCOME!
current mood: SMUG!
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
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12:37 pm
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ALOHA MY PALE NEW ENGLAND WORSHIPERS! IT IS I, LONO, RETURNED AMONGST YOU! YOU HAVE CRIED OUT TO LONO! YOU HAVE BEATEN YOUR BREASTS IN WOE FROM LONO'S ABSENCE! BITTER TEARS HAVE STREAMED FROM YOUR EYES HAVING SOUGHT LONO ON EVERY HORIZON AND IN EVERY PASSING CLOUD! BUT OH NO, LONO WAS NOT TO BE FOUND!
FEAR NOT SQUISHY MORTAL SUPPLICANTS! LONO HAS NOTICED YOUR PLIGHT! LONO HAS PARTICULARLY NOTICED THE BIT ABOUT THE BREASTS! THAT WAS LONO'S FAVORITE PART! KEEP THAT GOOD STUFF UP!
ANYWAY, LONO HAS BEEN BUSY, SO PIPE DOWN! HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED LONO'S MIRACLE?! HAVE YOU NOT MARVELED AT HOW THE DREAD WHITE CRYSTALS HAVE BEEN ALL BUT DRIVEN FROM LONO'S SKIES?! REJOICE WITH MERRIMENT AS THE PITIFUL MESSIAH LOVERS OF THE MIDWEST ARE BURIED UNDER THE FRIGID AWFUL, AND KNOW THAT LONO HAS PROTECTED YOU!
LONO FEELS COMPELLED TO REMIND YOU ALL, THIS IS A RELIGION, NOT A CHARITY, SO BAKED GOODS AND BOOZY LIBATIONS ARE STILL REQUIRED TO KEEP THE MIRACLES FLOWING FREE AND EASY! LONO WILL ALSO ACCEPT CASH!
LONO IS GREATEST! BOW BEFORE LONO!
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(12 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
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6:02 pm - THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
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MORTALS! TREMBLE FOR I AM MOST THOROUGHLY MIFFED! HAVE YOU LOOKED OUTSIDE TODAY?! THERE IS NO ALOHA TO BE FOUND IN GIANT WHITE SNOWFLAKES! IT IS FREAKING APRIL! BUT WAIT, MAYBE THIS WAS SOME UNAVOIDABLE FUNCTION OF NATURAL WEATHER PATTERNS!
NO!
THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT! I PROMISE YOU ALL SUNSHINE, WARMTH AND PROSPERITY IN EXCHANGE FOR MODEST OFFERINGS OF BAKED GOODS AND KNIT CAPS! I REMAIN CAP-LESS! NOT ONE BROWNIE HAS BEEN SACRIFICED TO ME! PEOPLE, PLEASANT WEATHER DOESN'T JUST FALL OUT OF MY ASS YOU KNOW! I HAVE NEEDS!
DO NOT FEAR, THO'! IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO MEND YOUR WAYS! WITH SUFFICIENT WORSHIP I MAY STILL YET PREVENT FREEZING RAIN IN JULY! HOWEVER, I MAY NEED BOOZE AT THIS POINT! GIN IS FINE, BUT RUM WOULD BE GOOD TOO! ABSINTHE IS BEST! MAHALO BITCHES!
current mood:  cold
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
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2:01 pm - WORSHIP LONO!
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TREMBLE, PALE NEW ENGLAND MORTALS, FOR I AM LONO! LONG HAVE YOU SUFFERED THE MEANINGLESS ONSLAUGHT OF WINTER! BUT NO MORE! THROUGH LONO YOU SHALL HAVE ETERNAL WARMTH AND FREE FLOWING BOOZE! VIRGINS APLENTY SHALL ATTEND YOU AND BABY DOLPHINS SHALL SWIM EVER AT YOUR SIDE! THE BLESSINGS OF LONO ARE BOUNTIFUL AND WONDROUS!
FIRST HOWEVER, LONO HAS SOME CONDITIONS! LONO IS VERY COLD, AND THEREFORE DEMANDS KNIT SWEATERS AND CAPS! LONO ALSO DESIRES BROWNIES AND OTHER WARM TASTY TREATS! LONO WILL ALSO ACCEPT CASH DONATIONS AND BURNT INCENSE! LONO IS ALSO LONELY AND DEMANDS COMPANY! COME HANG OUT WITH LONO AT CHUCK'S PLACE! LONO ENJOYS BOARDGAMES, CELEBRITY GOSSIP, AND MUSCLE-CAR MAGAZINES! LONO RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DEMAND OTHER STUFF AT WHIM! STAY TUNED FOR OTHER DEMANDS!
LONO IS A GENEROUS GOD, BUT WEAK IN A COLD CLIMATE! LONO'S FOLLOWERS WILL BE REWARDED BEYOND IMAGINATION, BUT ONLY AFTER THE ABOVE MENTIONED REQUIREMENTS ARE MET! (ESPECIALLY THE KNIT CAPS AND BROWNIES PARTS!)
BLESSINGS BE TO SOMERVILLE, THE NEW HOME OF LONO!
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(19 comments | comment on this)
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